It's DebateTorture Kahn Week!
by TwystedCareBear
Summary: It's exactly like the title says- what happens when I tranqui- get the mew mew cast, the creators, and the 4-Kids people in a room 'WILLINGLY' to debate and kill? A whole lot of maddness! MAJOR DUB BASHING! Chappie four finally up -
1. Names

Sword-chan- Aeya! We're here to bring you Mew Mew Dub Meet! Sure, we've said our bit on- ::chokes at thought::- Mew Mew Power- the dreaded dub-... but what do our Mew Mew friends- and, 4-Aho-Baka, Ichigo is the only one that has any type of cat genes in her, and she's an IRROMOTE CAT! And the dub V/A can't say anything without spacing it out, ie- Wi-ild Mountain-c-at, Zoe-ee, fur-eek-ey...-, the real ones, have to say about it? I hit them all with tranquiliz—I mean, they WILLINGLY locked themselves in a room with the 4-Aho-Baka people for an all week debate! There will be about 6 or 7 chapters, maybe two days will be combined in one chapter. We've rated this PG-13 for certain words... we don't want 7-year-old manipulated dubbies watching big sister Sarah read this page, then ask her mother what a slut is, now do we? Uh-uh. Let's start!

X.x.X- Debate One- Names! -X.x.X

"All right, all right, let's get down to buisiness!" I, Sword-chan, shout, whilst straightening my fox ears. "These names SUCK! I mean, COME ON. How the HELL do you get ZOE (Pronounced Zoey.) What? You decided that Z-o-e was better than Zo-e cuz you didn't want her to be like a 'street kid', I guess... Oh yeah, using long 'e's at the end of names is a new trend. Hop on that hip bus!" Ikumi and Yoshida stamped on either one of my feet (Imagine a 30-ish woman doing that... and then Yoshida, who's like... 50...)

"Dont get them any ideas!" Yoshida hissed, while it seemed like Ikumi just stamped on my foot to get anger out.

"Ouch!" I hissed back. "That wasn't very nice..." Kishuu leaned inward, still keeping his seat in his wooden chair.

"Don't worry. She's nuts,"

"CRAZY LIKE A FOX I AM!!" I bellowed, making a point to spit in the 4-Aho-Baka's boss, that Kahn guy's, ear, then sighed. "ANYWAYS, what the HELL WERE YOU THINKING? I SUPPOSE NEXT YOU'LL MAKE THEM ALL FLASH MASAYA AT THE SAME TIME AND YELL 'MEW MEW SKANKS UNITE!'!"

"We at 4-KIDS do not believe in educating children in things such as that, because they are stupid, you know. The only thing they want is- in a boys case- 'hot babes' with 'cool names' and- in a girls case- 'cute outfits' 'cute animals' and 'girl power'," said Mr.Kahn-who-is-a-total-idiot. "And of course the song is a real plus. We work hard to make them believe you can only love as a teenager, and that kids can't be kids, you know," Purin stared at him.

"Then why does Usagi sound like a slut in the dub?" There was a long silence, before Ichigo spoke for the first time- other than her 'LET ME GO YOU FREAK!'-.

"She's... sort of... right..." Le gasp. (I've been thinking about this for a very long time. Usagi does sound like a slut...) Masaya stepped infront of Ichigo.

"And since when am I 16...? I'm supposed to be 14... right? Two years older than Ichigo... right?!?!" (I'm not sure if he's 14, but I'm pretty sure he's not 16! I got this from the AOL thingy-ma-jig. Check out for info )

"Which would make me 12. That's not highschool..."

"hey! Stay on topic, love-birds!" I yelled, pointing as Ichigo hugged Masaya. "You only do that in the manga and when all-powerful fanfiction writers say you can! Off, off!" and, using my all powerful writers-privleges, got Kishuu out of his chair and Ichigo hugged him... but I don't know if they went further, for I turned back to the debate. Ikumi and Reiko raised their eyebrows.

"That wasn't part of the original plot, you know. We're just here to see that you sue him..."

"Oh, who cares? I mean—" Minto cut me off in midsentence.

"I've kept quiet enough, but I just can't take it anymore! WHY IN HELL DID YOU NAME ME CORINA? ARE THE 'GALS' GONNA CALL ME CORI OR SOMETHING? YEAH REAL COOL—" she paused as I played My Sweetheart on my laptop, then continued. "Anyways. YEAH THATS REAL COOL MISTER! NOT! WHAT IS WITH THIS? MAKING THEM SOUND ALL AMERICANISED! OH YEAH WE CANT HAVE ANY OF THOSE FAT AMERICAN KIDS THINKING THAT JAPAN IS REALLY BEHIND ANIME!!"

"Uh, Minto..."

"YES?!?!"

"He says anime is only for adults," I said with an evil grin.

"EEEEWWW!!" Purin shouted. "ADULT ANIME IS LIKE, HENTAI AND STUFF!!! EEEWWWW!!" Retasu backed her up.

"I saw my uncle looking at it once..." she said quietly.

"Where's Bridget's lisp?" Mr.Kahn asked suddenly. "Isn't she a nerd?" Retasu's quiet, green eyes turned red.

"I AM NOT A NERD AND MY NAME IS RETSU MIDORIKAWA NOT BRIDGET YOU—YOU STEREOTYPICAL AMERICAN!" (A/N- I'm not trying to insult the U.S... just Kahn. I'm an american, sadly, and I'm stuck here until I can hop a plane or something...) followed by a long string of Japanese as well as English cussess. (The dark side of Retasu. O.O;; You can use that in fanfiction if you like... it's not that an original and idea but it'd be kinda fun...)

"That's the problem with Japan," Kahn said, nodding as if his words would put everything to peace and he could go on killing anime. "They're just messed up,"

"WHAAAAAAAATTTT???" screamed everyone except Kahn and his minions- sporting devil wear-, making the tiny room we were locked in shake.

"The U.S is messed up!" I wailed.

"I should know, I've been there..." Zakuro muttered. "Damned pervs everywhere you look..."

"I lived in the U.S with Keiichiro and YES it's nothing like Japan!" Ryou insisted loudly. Keiichiro agreed with a nod of his head.

"RYOU AND KEIICHIRO ARE LUVVEEES! NEE HEE HEE NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENED WITH REI!" Purin shouted, totally off topic, as usual.

"AND I AM NOT A NERD!" Retasu bellowed.

"Mmph..." we all turned to see who had made the noise, and it was Ichigo, who seemed to be enjoying what I had made her do with my writers privleges.

"I KNEW YOU WANTED TO MAKE OUT WITH KISHUU! YIPEE I YO I OHH!!" shouted I, celebrating and beating on a tamborine.

"Dfed nawht..." Translation (for the slow people)- Did not!

"Dfo tuu," Kishuu muttered through her lips (Always thought that was a weird way of putting things, but hey, work with me here! I'm a kid with no life GIVE ME A BREK!). Again, for slow people- Do to. She pulled back.

"DO... NOT!" she cast a nervous glanse at Masaya. Kishuu didn't back down.

"Then why did you put your tounge in my mouth, eh, kitten? Hmmmm?"

"CUZ I WANTED TO GET YOUR OUT OF MY MOUTH!"

"Suuurrreeee," I said, smiling. "Let's send Masaya home so you can... do whatever." And, acting like it was 'Dismissed' (A very stupid MTV show, and if I ran it, everyone would die a brutal death...) "You are dismissed, she chose... bum da da duumm... KISHUU!"

"Yay!" Kishuu did a little celebration dance. Ichigo waited for Masaya to leave then shouted-

"I ADMIT IT! KISS ME YOU FOOL!"... now we leave Ichigo and Kishuu to do whatever. Let's not turn back to them for a while?

"Well, we've pretty much covered names... We all hate them... and it's Mew Otaku- 1 4-Baka-Aho-0! WHOOT!" I turned off my laptop after saving the document, and did a little cheer. "Oh, wait... Ichigo and Kishuu are starting to do things out of the PG-13 range. Don't want to raise the rating..." I turned my laptop back on and put a big 'CENSORED CENSORED' wall around them...

X.x.X- Debate Day 1- Complete! Wonder what Kishuu and Ichigo are gonna do while we're all asleep... o.O- X.x.X

Sword-chan- That was FUN!

Kishuu- ::wipes lipgloss stains off his face and shirt:: Yeah it was!

Sword-chan- Let's go get high of caffeine, ya'll! Except Kahn and minions. You can stay here to get tortured and such...

All (Except Kahn and Minions)- O.K! ::goes off to get high off caffeine::


	2. The 'Basics'

Sword-chan- Sorry this took so long! Saiken took up a lot of my time heh heh. Ah… ahem… so let's start with day two of Debate/Torture Kahn week! It's all about… I'm thinking this may be a double chapter… as in, two debates in one. But 'The Basics' is just one… cuz they're the BASICS. But it probably won't be, cuz I'm so lazy. Oh, by the way, I found you spell 'Zoe' like this- Z-o-ë… We had that name in a math problem… and our teacher told us the dots mean you pronounce the E like a long E. Even 4-Kids doesn't spell it that way! I'M SMART xD

X.x.X- Debate Two- The Basics (Title, Theme song) -X.x.X

I smiled and stretched. Sometime during the night Ichigo had realized she needed to breathe, and in order to breathe you need to detatch yourself from a certain asparagus head. The torture was going well… Kahn had had a few ACCIDENTS (get out the bedpan and rubber!!) during the night due to nightmares involving me, Retasu, a more-than-usual hyper Purin, a walnut, and a knife. Oh, this is getting BORING! I hate 'what happened last night' things. SO LETS GET TO THE FUN PART! Purin, Keiichiro, and Taruto are still on a sugar high, just so you know. So Purin's MORE DANEROUS THAN BEFORE!!! Mwah. Ha. Ha! A gong appeared out of nowhere- YAY! FUN FUN!-…

"Alarm time…" I sang softly, picking up a gong hitty thingy and banging it loudly while screaming 'EVERYBODY UP! EVERYBODY UP! WAIT! Nooo! I have to put on my fox ears!'… then I put on my fox ears and repeated the process without the 'NOOO! I HAVE TO PUT ON MY FOX EARS!' part, until they all woke up.

"Kay," I said, sweeping my hair up into a bun and straightening out some papers- then I threw them to the side and watched them flutter away. They were blank, anyways. So I continued, "Today we cover the basics, which we should've covered in the beginning, but I was eager to make the 'Usagi sounds like a slut in the dub' comment," I smiled evilly at Purin, who had done the deed. She was bouncing around in her chair screaming louder than usual. Taruto started doing the bunny hop, slower than your average alien on sugar.

"Need… SUGAR!" she started sniffing Kahn, who was trying very hard not to go into another 'WHY JAPAN IS BAD' speech, because Retasu was in her evil mode and had a mace. - Yay.

"HEY! PEOPLE AND ANIME/MANGA CHARACTERS!" I tossed Taruto one of those big sweettarts, which he swallowed almost whole, "We're supposed to be DEBATING!" And with that, I pulled all the characters down to chairs, put Kahn in a small chair- one for a first grader or so, cuz that's how he acts-, and the minions stood.

"HEY! There aren't any spaces left!" whined Ichigo.

"Oh my oh my," I pretend pondered, "It seems you must sit on top of someone," I piled her on Kishuu, wondering if she was just on cold medicine or something the other night. YAY. She wasn't. Keiichiro watched.

"ACK! MY NAÏVE EYES THAT ARE THE SAME OF THAT AS A 2-YEAR-OLD GIRL!" and he ran into the bathroom, Ryou close behind.

"…O…Kay…" Pai edged closer to Retasu, who was madly swinging her mace… which is why Pai had a bandaid on his ear for the next few days. He edged back away. I rolled my eyes and pulled a fuzzy off one of my fox ears.

"I'll start then…Kay, Theme song- Catchy, not that great though… Who sings it?" Kahn was silent. I had predicted Hilary Duff or something… because… EW HILARY DUFF! EEEEUUUUW!!!

"It's SICKENING!" shouted Ichigo, "I didn't even LIKE Kissing Masaya!"

"MARK," corrected Kahn.

"MASAYA!"

"MARK is a MUCH better name because it isn't JAPANESE and I am a foolish racist who turned good animation into utter crap to fool seven year olds and all that jazz,"

"Masaya is a better name because the to-be-worshipped creators created it! I don't like the guy all that much but he DOESNT DESERVE AN ICKY NAME!" Reiko Yoshida and Mia Ikumi nodded, but were slowly scooting their chairs away- a sure sign they just LOVED being locked in this little room. I rubbed my temples, annoyed.

"We had this discussion **yesterday.** _Please** stay on topic…**_"

"Right, right," Ichigo waved her hand from side to side, 'I-don't-care' in Ichigo language… although it can also mean 'CRAP-I'M-FALLING!' or 'I-am-SO-sorry' or 'I-am-SO-embarrassed'… or… Ah! Shutting up now! Minto stamped her foot.

"WHAT SHE MEANS TO SAY IS THAT IS NOT WHAT TOKYO MEW MEW IS ABOUT! It's sci-fi, magical girl… ANIMAL EARS! I mean, jees!"

"…Minto?" Taruto uttered in his matter of fact voice.

"WHAT, PUNK?"

"… you don't have ears… you got the wings from the prop box…" (better than raggedy andy hair…)

"…oh…"

"… yeah,"

"Whoopsie daisies!" For a moment everyone gapped at the un-Minto-ish comment of 'Whoopsie daisies!', then we all continued our screaming. Kishuu stepped in.

"Man… you know it's not like… right to be all… you know…"

"Are you IMPERSONATING a hippie or what?" Minto demanded. An unhappy Minto is not a pleasant Minto…

"You saw right through me…"

"YUP!"

"Crap."

"Just let me talk!" this was straying way, way off topic, "My Sweetheart and Koi A La Mode are WAY better. THEY'RE FUN!" I started playing the theme songs, then all the sudden had an urge to do script mode for a while. YAY!

Kahn- Mine are WAY better.

Purin- NUUUUU!!!!! :: assumes fetal position ::

Taruto- :: kicks Purin lightly :: Are you alive?

Sword-chan- u.u What's wrong?

Purin- … You really wanna know?

All- :: n—

Sword-chan- WE NEED RYOU AND KEIICHIRO IN HERE! :: drags the two out of bathroom… they look rather… uh-huh… :: Kay, GO!

All- :: nod ::

Purin- O.K… :: deep breath :: GREEN MEANS GO AND RED MEANS STOP! :: bursts into tears ::

I think this script form thing is getting to me. Everyone stared at her for a moment… like 'What the hell?', but we got over our absolute shock and all that good stuff.

"This is EXACTLY what's wrong with Japanese children!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" screamed Retasu, holding out her mace threateningly. I started to play Stargazer by SPITZ… and ended up crying.

Again.

If you're not here I don't know what I'll do… What I'll do… (At least that's what the translaters say… but they are good J-Rock/Pop translaters…)

"GET A GRIP, MON!" screamed Ryou… Mon? I mean… jeez. Anyways.

"Fine…" I sighed, pulling myself out of my star world.

"Bleh. Bottom line- It sucks," Pai grumbled. Retasu nodded and climbed on top of his shoulders.

Because he is rather tall.

And it just looks cute.

"What are you doing?" asked Pai, raising an eyebrow. Retasu smiled.

"PIGGY BACK!"

"No…"

"PIGGY BACK!!" she demanded, her eyes starting to glow.

"All right then! Piggy back to…" he spun around twice and pointed in the direction he ended up facing. How logical! Everyone stared at how logical it was, mouths open, "THERE!" he marched off then slid off the… currently almost evil Retasu… I turned on Angel Meat Pie (Really… hard rocking song by Ddi:… At first it sounds like a cat from hell being murdered in the shower.

But I got used to it) for feeling. Kahn clamped his hands over his ears.

"AAAHHH!!! SAAAVVEEE ME!! JAPANESE MUSIC!"

"… dude?" I raised an index finger.

"DUDE IS AMERICAN SLANG SO I SHALL ANSWER!"

"… shut your trap,"

"Kay, kay, I think we covered theme song alright…" pointed out Minto. I nodded.

"Now it's time for the name…"

"ITS GAY!" shouted Purin, "Let's go on!"

"… we kinda can't…" Ichigo sighed.

"Why?"

"Because the authoress is lazy and ran out of ideas for this chapter,"

"… CRAP!!"

X.x.X

Sword-chan- Yeah, yeah, it took me sooo long to write this super short chapter. Sorry!

Kishuu- Mah…

Sword-chan- SO as a bonus for being sooo awesome, you get…

'PURIN AND TARUTO'S DATE- IN SCRIPT FORM!'

X.x.X

Setting- A lake with a bench on a hill… full moon (I always imagined this as a date when I was… eh, 5, 6. Dunno why)

Purin- :: sits down ::

Taruto- :: sits down ::

Purin- So, what did you wanna tell me, Tar-tar?

Taruto- Would stop calling me that? And… I wanted to say…

Purin- Hang on… :: makes eyes bigger and sparklier :: :: leans in a little :: Go on.

Taruto- :: fiddles with hands :: Well… ever since that day… when you transferred that candy drop from your mouth to mine…

Purin- Yes? :: breathless ::

Taruto- Well, at first I thought I'd get trench mouth or something…

Purin- Uh… o.k… :: loses breathlessness for a moment ::

Taruto- But I… I saw a flicker of something that I hadn't seen before…

Purin- :: breathless again ::

Taruto- … you're totally FLAT!

Purin- WHAT? I'M ONLY FLIPPING… TEN OR SOMETHING IN THAT VOLUME!

Taruto- … oh… yeah… Well, you aren't now…

Sword-chan- :: pops in :: In this bonus, they happen to be… I don't know. Older. :: twitch :: :: pops back out ::

Taruto- … o.O You really aren't flat anymore…

Purin- THANKS! But, uh, continue… oO

Taruto- I love you…

Purin- :: totally breathless ::

Taruto- :: totally breathless ::

Purin- I… love… you… too…

Whoo fluff fluff.

Both- :: lean in and kiss ::

…

…

I wonder how long they can hold it…

(Kiss breaks)

Purin- … WOW!

Taruto- … !! Whoa. Did I just do that?

Purin- :: kisses Taruto again :: :: inserts corny line after :: Now I did, too.

Taruto- … :: frenches with Purin::

Sword-chan- O.K, this could go a little further than intended… :: puts up 'We'll Be Right Back!' sign up while elevator music is playing in attempt to hide the… strange… noises… ::

X.x.X END! X.x.X

Sword-chan- WOW! THAT WAS CHEESY!

Taruto- … it was kinda … FUN!!

Purin- YEAAAAHHH!

Taruto- We should do it more often…

Sword-chan- ACK! STARS FORBID! SHIELD MY EYES!


	3. The Fans

Sword-chan- O.K, so I was going to discontinue this since I had writers block but one review really sparked me. I quote it.

PITIFUL! JUST PITIFUL! HOW DARE U INSULT THE BEST TV SHOW IN THE WORLD! MEW MEW POWER IS NOT THAT BAD!

WHAT THE HECK? O.K, FIRST OFF 'MEW MEW POWER GIRL', I have the right to write whatever the hell I want. (Ooh, I swore. That's not Mew Mew Graceful, is it? Eh?) Opinions are NOT pitiful. YOU, however, are pitiful, as YOU do not RESPECT opinions. I DARE to put my opinions up. And I made this fanfiction for people who DO NOT LIKE IT. I put BASH KAHN in the title for a reason. I put MAJOR DUB BASHING in the title for a reason. I was WARNING people like YOU so I won't waste a minute of my life READING YOUR STINKING REVIEWS! It is NOT the best show in the world. If it WAS the 'best' show in the world, how come SO MANY ARE AGAINST IT? If it was the BEST show in the world, why would I not like it? That's right.

You're OPINION is not the same as MINE. GET OVER IT. Had you written it in a RESPECTFUL manner I wouldn't have gotten so STEAMED and written a RESPECTFUL reply back.

So I'm dedicating this next chapter of Debate Week to YOU, my friend. All about the fans of this pitiful dub. Yes- The dub is what's TRULY pitiful.

X.x.X- The Fans, Bebe, The Fans! –X.x.X

My fox-fangs dug into my chin. For months I've been in hiding as my writing skills seem to be weakening, as I sound more and more serious and become less capable of comedy, prone to angst…

"But with this chapter, I am reborn," I whisper to myself, catching myself up in the drama.

"Oh, get over yourself!" Minto cut in, sneering as usual.

X.x.X

"RIGHT! LET'S GET TO BUSINESS!" shout I, jumping on top of the table. Yoshida and Ikumi whimper, being pretty sane people.

"Don't worry, she's just nuts," Kishuu re-assured them and himself. But mostly himself.

"For this chapter," announced Purin, grabing a microphone, "We've replaced Kahn and his idiots with Mew Mew Power Fans!" Mew Mew Power fans cheered 'Mew Mew Style, Mew Mew Grace, Mew Mew Power IN YO FACE!

We're so awesome, we're so smooth, we're so cool, we're so… So…' and then one dressed as 'Zoe' hopped up on the title and faced me. The fans started clapping and stomping their feet.

"It's not…" she clapped and wiggled her butt like Ciara or something, who I sort of liked before this nauseating act, "How we dress or what we possess…"

"Cause-from-the…" echoed a little girl dressed as 'Kiki' (Purin looked insulted)

"Very start…" chanted the fan, "IT WAS THERE IN OUR HEARTS! YEAH!"

A fan dressed as 'Corina' hopped in the air.

"ARE WE GONNA SHOW THIS HEARTLESS TEAM OF LOSERS THAT THEIR TOKYO MEW MEW WAS COPYING OUR MEW MEW POWER EVEN IF THE COPYRIGHT IS EARLIER THAN MEW MEW POWERS?"

"YEAH!" shouted the crowd of fans.

"ARE WE GONNA GIVE THEM A DOSE OF MEW MEW POWER?"

"YEAH!"

"AND ARE WE GONNA SHOW THEM HOW LAME AND DORKY THEY ARE?"

"YEEEEAAAAH!" the screamed, pounding their feet, whistling, clapping, all while a the dub theme song played in the background via a fan who brought her computer ('This thing is like, so heavy! Hooo-HA! MORSE CODE CASTENETS, CARRY THIS FOR ME! Darn, it like, didn't work,'). But, alas, breaking their little celebration a snooty voice came from the back of the room.

"Hell NO!" it screamed. I turned off the flood lights to reveal… Surprise, surprise! MINTO!

"Hey, it's Corina!" said a random fan.

"No, idiot," said the Corina-dressed fan, who was also an idiot, "Corina is to Mew Mew Graceful to swear! This is the imposter! ATAAACK!"

"MINT ECHO!" Minto screamed frantically against the hubub of weird 4-Kid fans, blowing them back in her mint echo-y-ness. I played her transformation music and started dancing around the room (Wheeeee). The Zoe dressed girl sneered and straightened her cat ears. 'My ears are better than yours' she mouthed to me, but then straightened up and acted all sugary sweet.

"Where's that Zoe imposter of yours?" she asked me, "What's her stupid name? Strawberry? HA! Who names a kid strawberry?"

"Me, that's who!" came Sakura Momomiya's voice, obviously offended.

"No, US!" chimed Yoshida and Ikumi.

"Oh… All this time I thought she was my child…" sighed Mr. Momomiya, "Ichigo, I love you, any— Huh?" he cut himself short and cocked his head to listen. _Mff… Smack… Mmmmmfff… Smack._ The sounds of an –awesome- couple making out filled the air, followed by gasps.

"ZOE! You… You betrayed us! You… You love Mark! Only Mark!"

"What the crap?" mumbled Ichigo, "I ditched Masaya long ago… Kishuu is my only love… I think…" The dub cosplayer drew back.

"You… YOU'RE THE IMPOSTER!"

"And I'm one lucky guy…" Kishuu murmured blissfully, looking up towards the heavens.

"Heeeeh?" I question, "Ichigo has a horrible personality…" but I quickly correct myself,

"We're off topic! EVERYONE SIT THE HELL DOWN AND LETS GET TO IT!"

"Why should we?" a girl dressed like 'Renee' asked, "We can just get you with our weapons! Purple dagger, golden tamborine, heart bow and arrow, and—"

"Pah! _You're_ weapons? I can transform to FIVE different original characters, mortal! I MADE THEM!" the fans eyes widened, never having thought much of having their own characters. I frowned, wondering why they couldn't be like the more respectful people who watched Mew Mew Power but still liked Tokyo Mew Mew better, used original names, et cetera, if they had to like MMP at all.

"So I made their weapon statistics… Today is a Hoshito day… FLAME ENGULF! METAMORPH!" I shout, smiling at my old character, "O.K, let's go… STAR—"

"Nooo!" they all squealed, "Spare us!" ('Zoe' fan muttered 'Sissies… I can take her on…' but she did nothing) I grinned and sat down, staying in the costume, but changing my hair back to normal.

"Now, why do you like Mew Mew Power?" I asked, suddenly in my lawyer get up.

"Because it's AWESOME!" insisted the Zoe cosplayer. I pointed to the words I'd just typed.

"I'm tired of calling you cosplayers. Cosplayers, what are your names?"

"Erika," said the Zoe.

"Hannah," said the Corina.

"Leah," said the Kiki.

"Aimee—Actually it's Amy but Aimee is sooo much cooler!" said the Bridget, who hadn't yet spoken.

"Fiona," said the Renee. For the first time I noticed the difference between the anime cosplay costumes and the dub ones- The dub ones SUCKED! The fabric was fraying, they hadn't bothered with wigs, they put mascara on but it was smudged and smeared, and the shapes of them were odd- Not puffy, not pointy, not… Well, like they should be. I snorted and continued with my questioning.

"And the reason you wanted to watch it in the first place?" I asked Hannah.

"It looked cute!" she insisted, smiling like that was the bestest excuse in the whole wide world that is, acording to Kahn, made up of America and a TINY bit of Canada- Oh, and Mexico for its 'exquisate tequillas and martinis –hiccup-'. I slammed the hammer that magically appeared on the table, making it crack.

"Oops, wrong hammer…" I mumbled. "ANYWAYS, AHA! AHA AHA! THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN _quality_ of ART or GOOD STORY LINES! BUT CUTENESS!"

"That's not all!" protested Leah, "We… Um… WE THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY! Zoe is so funny…" All the original characters fell flat on their face.

"What was the funniest part?" I asked, fighting face vault myself.

"Ooh, ooh, I'll do this one!" cheered Erika.

"I wanna!" Aimme whined.

"Shut up, Bridget, YOU'RE just a lowly nerd," Retasu went off the edge at that.

"I'M… NOT… A… NERD! AAAAUUUGGGHH! NO! THE WHITE MEN!" Men in white coats came in with a large needle. I turned my back so I wouldn't wittness it.

"Let Kiki do it," I said quietly.

"O.K! We _all_ agree the _BEST_ part- Played by the BEST character, Zoe!- was this:" she fell off her chair, "OW! O.K, zit check"- she held up an imaginary mirror, "STUPID LYING ZIT CREAM! 24 HOURS MY FOOT!" Only the MMP fans laughed- Otherwise it was silent.

"Ha!" Erika snapped, "I'd like to see YOUR funniest moment?" Purin grinned evilly, and my face broke into a grin.

"I laughed for hours at this… Purin, would you be so kind? Kishuu, play the guard."

Purin launced into script-form gewdness.

Kishuu- What're you guys doing here?

Purin- -looks all important- WE'RE SUPER HEROS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!

All- -face vault-

Ichigo- EVERYON'LL THINK WE'RE CRAZY! ;;;

The whole room erupted in laughter, Kishuu fell over in laughter (On Ikumi. Oops), and even the MMP fans giggled a little. I smiled.

"Volume 2, always a classic…"

"And I'M ON THE COVER!" Minto grinned, "I look goooood,"

"HA!" Erika snapped, "NOT FUNNY! RIGHT GIRLS?"

"Actually, Erika," Hannah whimpered, raising a finger, "It wasn't that bad…" Erika glared at her.

"But the zit act was definatly better!" she frantically considered, "Right girls?" the fans nervously nodded, a few afraid to admit they had laughed.

"Majority wins!" cheered Fiona. I scowl, swallow my pride, and agree.

"But the war of this chapter isn't over!" I scroll down my list and smile.

"Who created Mew Mew Power?"

"4-Kids, of course! Like, duh! You think we're STUPID?" Erika shouted, bursting into shrieks of laughter.

"Ah," said I, "Let's watch a re-run of Mew Mew Power… Episode twelve,"

"There aren't twelve episodes! WE WIN!"

"Oh—Whoops. They changed the orders… I mean, one," I played it, but, much to the fans dismay, fastforwarded to the credits.

"SEE?" I said, pointing at the teeny tiny print.

"See WHAT?" asked Erika. I sighed and magnified it with the computer.

"THAT! It says- 'Originally Tokyo Mew Mew. Copyright MIA IKUMI AND REIKO YOSHIDA'! THAT MEANS THEY MADE IT! ITS COPYRIGHTED THEM!" (I forget exactly what it says… -tears- So just play along…) Erika grimaced and fought back tears.

"Hannah, you dolt! You said… You said… Th-that…" she sat down and rocked herself back and forth, totally unable to take the shock.

"This is over," Fiona said tearfully, "But we still think Mew Mew Power is better! Right girls?"

"**_RIGHT!_" **they shouted in response, and then proded out of the room.

I crossed one more thing off my to-do list-

Get Ichigo And Kishuu To Kiss

Scare Ikumi-sempai and Yoshida-sempai

Make Kahn cry

Get high off caffeine

Hurt someone with Star Lantern

Make MMP fan cry

To be added to…

X.x.X- End –X.x.X

Sword-chan- I feel much better… Like I'm born anew!

Kishuu- Drat! I THOUGHT ONE WAS ENOUGH!

Sword-chan- … Anyways, I'll be seeing you! Guess this isn't the end of Debat Week after all…


	4. Cuts And Mr Paintbucket! Long and boring

Sword-chan- I think I should keep doing this for the promised 7 chapters to keep me…

Ciara- -randomly pops in- Supersonic, hyp-notic funky FRESH!

Sword-chan- … No. On top of the little writing skill I have… REVIEW REPLIES!

**Kaggierain- **I'm glad I updated, too!

I agree (But I'm not saying the respectful ones, or non-bratty cute 4-year-olds are. I simply pity them for not reading the credits .)

**Drgnmstr-Alex**- Hee hee. I don't think you're gay, no worries! I watched the Sailor Moon dub, too, but since I'm considerably probably younger, I was only about 5. BUT I saw Usagi writing in her notebook and there was some kanji on the spine they had forgotten to erase (They aren't so careless anymore. DRAT!). So I came to the conclusion it was either Chinese, Korean, or Japanese. But I read the credits and saw the creators last name, heh, and I remembered something about Chinese names and Korean names being two syllables… Long story how I learned that… So it's for another day… If at all.

**Ember Mage-** I don't categorize this as a flame. A flame is what MMP Girl left- I do not believe all reviews should be sugary and fairyed up, just because I don't get very many flames. And because I like the word fairyed o-o

First off, I never said 'If Ikumi and Yoshida were in the same room as Kahn, I'm pretty sure how they would act'. This is FICTION and COMEDY. It isn't supposed to be realistic, and some people laughed at what I wrote there.

_FANFICTION- a fictional account written by a fan of a show, movie, book, or video game **to explore themes and ideas that will not or cannot be explored via the originating medium**; also written fan fiction, also called fanfic_ That definition is straight from See that bolded part? That's **BASICALLY** what I always do- I explore the idea that Ichigo likes Kishuu and not Aoyama for one reason or another—That he is a crackhead, that she, being human, simply had a change of heart, that Pai with his all Pai-ie brains went back in time and made sure the whole insident never happened, but fate does it's own thing and Ichigo is all freaked out and thinks Masaya will kill her, that Masaya changed heart… Et cetera. Then expand. Fanfiction was not created for the sole purpose of writing a new story to the thing you're a fan of the exact way the story goes- That is just one of the many, many purposes fanfiction has.

As for 4-Kids' jobs, their job is to dub 'the best of Japan's children anime.' Tokyo Mew Mew, while being an anime made for young girls, was not a show where all the girls were a stereotype- Pretty snob, nerd, pretty and nice, prep, and 'cheerleader', and all still talking like Valley Girls-, obsessed with 'zit checking', talking to oneself in rap form, chanting odd chants that did, well, nothing in battle, and being a 'cool teen in love'. Some things- Like taking out body lines- I understand, but some cuts and edits are un-called for and make the story difficult to follow.

The rest are your opinions that I cannot shake, and I will go no further. As your review was just your opinion and not a flame, this is just my opinion on your opinion and not a flame. Good day.

**TalasTwinSister**- Thankyou .

**Hiro Konobu- **Thankyou. I do know a few people who like Mew Mew Power, some are quite nice an even started to get the manga and like the Japanese better than 4-Kids-ia. Only two were like the fans I wrote about (Who don't exsist), but they never had the courage to face me, they only kept putting letters in my desk, locker, et cetera, which is sad considering they went to my own school. -shrug- Aaaanyway, thank you much.

**Amme Moto-** Drat is right. Was it in script form? Cuz they all the sudden went on a scripty delete spree a few months ago. I hope you don't get deleted, but drop me your new account as soon as you can, pweez x3

Thanks for your review replies, guys. I'll try to review other fics more –dies-

**Anna Sena- **Ehm. Oops o-o I KNEW THAT! No, seriously, I did… But there was this part of my brain saying that since she lived in Japan at all maybe she counted as a Japanese citizen. I DUNNO! –more deaths-

X.x.X- Cuts And Mr PaintBucket –X.x.X

I sighed. "O.k, Kahn's back… Unfortunatly,"_ The little girls breath smelled better, no matter how how horrid they were, _ I added silently, wistfully, _Sort of like mangos. Or maybe it was just her 'totally mad-rad' lipgloss. Heh._

"Anyways, tooooooooodaaaaaaay we're discussing cuts and Mr. PaintBucket A.K.A art editing," I paused, "But Mr. Paintbucket sounds more like a fruit than art editing,"

"I disagree," Kishuu interjected, "I think art editing sounds more like a fruit… Reminds me of celary…"

"Celary isn't a fruit…"

"So?"

"Anyways, let's jab at him and stuff like the people we are," I suggest heartily. Pai and Taruto silently begain making popcorn. But before I could start Kahn-jabbing, a voice pierced the air… The voice of non other than…

"Iiiiichigo!" Masaya Aoyama. Now, to show I support the actual story of Tokyo Mew Mew to, ehm, people, I will tell you I don't have the hugest problem with Machigo. It can be cute, once I get past the fact that I think Kichigo has better chemistry and Masaya has a humongous head. But I did NOT want him to come back. Oooh no. But he just HAD to because he has a few cuts. Bleh.

"O.k! Wait—Is my mic on?" he tapped the microphone.

"No," I said, holding back from adding 'idiot' at the end. Then Masaya got his kendo look on… Which is a 9.5 on Ichigo's swoony factor. APPARENTLY.

"Kishuu!" I whisper-warned, "Put on your… Um… BATTLE FACE!" He did. I could sorta see Ichigo's scale becoming confused and blowing up. In my, um, mind.

"WHY?" Masaya burst out, falling to his knees, "WHY do you cut out Mr. Cicada? He was so… SO LOVABLE! And so… SO CUTE!" Mr. Kahn backed away, like, 'Omigod. Japanese people ARE weird and unhealthy,'.

"Is that all?" I inquired impatiently of a sobbing Masaya.

"Yes," he mumbled.

"Then you may go and sit,"

"WHEE! Sitting is fun. Right? Ichigo, will you sit with me?"

Uh-oh.

"Um… Sure!"

**_UH-OH_**. Well this SUCKED.

"Let's start at the beginning," I said hastily, deciding to leave Masaya and Ichigo. It's not like Kishuu would really let anything happen.

"EPISODE 12!"

"1," Kahn corrected.

"Yeah, whatever," I snarled, looking over my paper.

"First episode… I'll go over the major cuts… O.K, this isn't really a cut, but the opening sequeance is kinda… Randomized. Not TOO bad though," my eyes flicked over to Kahn, who looked pleased. Maybe he thought he had sucsessfully brainwashed me while I slept last night, or something.

"But it was still bad," I said, smiling, "Oh, and why did you cut out Ichigo talking about the Mew Mews? I mean, you don't even start off with Ichigo having to find them,"

"That's exactly why we cut it out!"

"But it wasn't the first episode! IT WAS THE 12th!"

"It was the one with all of the girls battling at once,"

"Believable," I decide, "But pathetic! Why you cut out her flashback of the dream is understandable, considering you didn't START WITH THE FIRST EPISODE!" I scream.

"Don't worry, she's nuts!" Kishuu chirped for the gazzillionth time.

"The dream was cool, though!" Purin insisted, "With bubbles! BUBBLES!" Then Ryou chimed in.

"You cut my speech! MY SPEECH!" he was obviously depressed.

"KIDS DON'T CARE ABOUT…" Kahn paused to spit on the concrete floor, as if the words tasted bad, "NATURE!"

"Blaphsh—I don't know that word…" I remarked sadly (Blaphshmemy? Blaphshemy!), "But anyways! I did!"

"You're WEIRD," Minto reminded me.

"Thank-broom," I replied cheerfully, but soon lowered my voice again, to continue, "As for Mr. Paintbucket, the first thing I saw was her body shadows and stuff… They were kinda screwed up," I point to pictures- A, the original, and Z, the dub. Why I skipped over B-Y I have NO CLUE.

"But that's obvious why. Strange, though, how you expect parents to respect their child to be influenced on dating at the age of- What, 7? Far to young… And not chest development? But whatever…" I sigh, "That's just America for you… Oh, I shouldn't say that… Other countries--- AAH I RAMBLE! NEXT!" All the sudden Kishu burst in.

"YOU CUT MY PAUSE! I wanted to make my laugh DRAMATIC! Like she was WEAK! You cut it!"

"We wanted to make you ruthless!" a minion insisted.

"But… But I love my koneko…" he took a second to look sad and sulked away. I shifted my eyes from him to the table.

"Uh, that was kinda pointless, but you had to do it with that 6 extra seconds you added…" I rolled my eyes, "But, anyways… you cut EVERYTHING Kishuu says to Ichigo… It's like you want to turn him into MORE of an ANTISOCIAL! HE DOESN'T NEED TO BE THE NEXT RENEE! Oh, yay, we're onto the next epi already!" Kahn looked trapped.

"We have a lot of Paintbucket from the beginning! Just kana and stuff… But why didn't you fill in the banners? WHO WANTS BLANK BANNERS!"

"MAYBE THE WERE SCHOOL COLORS!" Kahn suddenly yelled. I slunk back, noticing he had this vain that was throbbing. Um, oops?

"O.K… Next is… Well, besides some obvious erasing or what was in the premiere episode… There isn't so much Mr. Paintbucket. Hm," I look at him suspciously. He tried to look innocent… Scary picture.

"Cut… 'Hey, this is such a cute café! WE SHOULD GO THERE SOMETIME!' CUUUUT! JAGGEDLY CUT WITH PLASTIC SCISSORS!"

"CALM DOWN!" Kishuu screamed, then rushed to save Ichigo from me. That's… Comforting…?

"I'm JUST GETTING STARTED! THE MOST IMPORTANT SCENE… ALMOST… IS CUT! FIFTY SECODNDS! FIFTY! No falling soda machines, Ichigo is not in the happy—I mean, bubble place, no cat… NADA! All flashbacks are CUT'D TOO! I HATE YOU!" Screaming, I lunge for him, but his minions almost poke my eye out with their spear thingies. Drat.

"You cut out my pooooose," whined Ichigo, "It was cute! Oh, and when I kinda freak. Cut,"

"Yeah… I liked that strawberry background, too," I paused and wiped a little tear from my eye.

"Kay, now I have to speeeeed things up cuz I think I'm making this a tad to lengthy," I explain in a rush, looking at the clock, "You cut out Minto's pretty ceilings. Bad. They were PRETTY! O.k… No close up of bruises. Bad. You're supposed to make it seem like she cares. More worry cuts… Then the thing where they touch hands and blush and act all cute. Yep. Cut. WHY? Uugghh… Anyways, no logic in any of these…" I start leafing through my cut list, "Cut of EVERYTHING about Miki/Mickey… Except, the battle and stuff… You cut the beginnings and ends of transformations and put in that cheesy slogan… Euw… NEXT EPISODE! Ichigo like NEVER thinks. You cut it all out! She never works either!"

"I'm not lazy!" Ichigo interjects.

"Of course not, kitten," Kishuu croons, sticking his tongue out at Masaya.

"Of course not, Ichigo," I say, just sort of wanting to mimic Kishuu, "But… Anyway… You cut the 100KG block thing falling on her head… I learned measurment units when I was 7, and we used the same text book as at least half of the elementary schools in the nation… The Jim Wesley thing or whatever… And you cut… KISHUU AND ICHIGO'S KISS! O.K, he sort of kissed TO her, but still. NOT GOOD. You want them to KNOW he likes her. Yes?

"In the next episode, you cut a lot of short shots… Simplistic beauty, as I say… Then you take out Kishuu's leg-line-abs-whatever. I can sorta understand that, you having the mentality of a giggly 6-year-old, minus the giggles…

"Kishuu STILL doesn't TALK TO HER! Ugh… Poses cut… Not to bad, for this episode…

"No thinking or musing, still. Sad. They're supposed to have brains, Mister! I THINK. De-kana-fi-cation… Then you cut stuff and squash some transformations together and play this little jam thing… Something about 'not how we dress or what we possess.' Erika was singing it earlier, I think… And Ichigo doesn't hug the seal! HOW COULD YOU?

"Anyway, I think our readers about get the idea. This was basically a long and boring meeting…" I paused, thinking.

"I really need to work on my ramblings…"

X.x.X

Sword-chan- I talk to much.

Kishuu- -to no one in particular- Don't worry, she's nuts!

Sword-chan- You're getting to say that too often.

Kishuu- Don't worry, you're nuts!

Sword-chan- … I know…


End file.
